September 25, 2014

September 25, 2014. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember words and phrases vividly from that day. I was looking forward to spending the evening on the couch watching Derek Jeter play in his final home game at Yankee Stadium. Kristen and I both took the day off. We were making a quick trip over to Gainesville. We had an appointment, planned to grab some lunch, and we were going to be back by 1:00pm. Our day didn’t go according to how we had planned.

We had an appointment to see Dr. Million that morning. It was our first appointment since we found out we were pregnant with our second child. Our family and a few close friends knew we were expecting a baby and also knew we would be at the doctor’s office that day. I like to document special days with a picture. I took this picture of Kristen right before Dr. Million came in the room.

 Dr. Million’s practice is to perform an ultrasound at your first appointment. I’ll never forget those brief moments (that seemed like years) when Dr. Million stopped talking and then said, “I hate to even say anything…”

We didn’t know what to think at that time. I don’t think Kristen wanted to hear anything else. I, however, wanted to know. You see, I’m a planner. There must be a plan and we need to know. We need all the information available to plan the best course of action (it’s what planners do). Dr. Million said she saw something and she wasn’t sure what it was. I asked her what could this “thing” she saw be indicative of. That’s when Dr. Million stated, “your baby’s head is not a nice, pretty, oval shape like we want it to be.” She wanted us to see a specialist. We were able to see the specialist at 2:00pm that day.

We wouldn’t be home by 1:00pm. We would have to make arrangements for someone to pick Anniston up from daycare. We would spend the next couple hours trying to think about what might happen next. Our day wasn’t going as planned.

We were referred to Dr. Rizwana Fareeduddin (or Dr Fareed for short). Dr. Fareed's office is located at the end of this long hallway on the left.

We arrive for our 2:00pm appointment and the technician takes about 25 minutes worth of pictures of our baby. Dr. Fareed comes in the room and asks, “why did your doctor send you here?” When I heard that question I felt relieved. I thought to myself, there’s been some sort of mistake. Everything is ok. Our baby is fine. Our baby is healthy. I told Dr Fareed what Dr Million had told us about our baby’s head. She then said the words (that still bring a wave of tears to my eyes as I write this) I will never forget, “unfortunately, you’re doctor is spot on. Your baby has a fatal abnormality called, acrania.”

We were devastated. We were crushed. We were sobbing, three people who had just met, crying and attempting to console one another. Dr. Fareed explained to us what acrania was and did her very best to assure us that this was not our fault. We talked for a few minutes and then we went back to meet with Dr. Million.

It was a day we will never forget. It’s hard to believe that’s in been one year. Kristen and I were talking and reflecting back on this day after work today. She said, “I guess life goes on.” I replied to her, “I don’t know if it does, but it definitely doesn’t stop.”

We can’t thank you all enough. We still meet people that tell us how Truett changed their life. We love hearing stories like that because we love our son. We are so proud to be his parents and we are so proud of him. First Coast News out of Jacksonville, Florida will be having a story about Truett soon. The story should air around late October or early November. We will keep you updated as we know when.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand – Proverbs 19:21

Truett's Story, Part I

Truett’s Story: In the Words of His Mother and Father

It’s been almost two months since Truett was born and since he met Jesus. We are so grateful for each person that has prayed, loved, cared, laughed, cried, comforted and reached out to us! You guys have totally blown us away. We have received so many calls, texts, messages, cards and gracious gestures by so many people. We seriously cannot say thank you enough. Everything has meant so much to us. Truett was born at 10:55am on Tuesday, April 7, 2015. He passed away in Kristen’s arms at 11:58pm on Friday, April 10, 2015 at our home. He lived an amazing 85 hours and 3 minutes. We are so thankful for every minute we had with him.

Kristen was very anxious, as was I, the few weeks leading up to Truett’s birth. It wasn’t an anxiety like you would think. Kristen was deeply concerned for the staff at the hospital, particularly the nurses. Doctor Million told us at an earlier appointment that the doctors have high-risk meetings to discuss patients that fall into that category. Of course, because of Truett, Kristen and I were considered high-risk. All of the doctors were familiar with our situation because of those meetings. However, how many of the nurses knew? What were they going to think? How would they respond when they saw Truett? Those questions really began to cause Kristen some stress. Around 8:00pm on April 6^th Kristen checked her messages on Facebook. She had a message from someone we didn’t know. The message was from a labor and delivery nurse at North Florida Regional Medical Center. Her name is Jaime. She told Kristen that a mutual friend had told her about our story a few weeks ago and she had been following along. She stated that she had arranged for a nurse named Liz to take care of us the next day. She also stated that Liz had previously taken care of a family with a similar diagnosis several years ago. I can’t tell you what this message did for Kristen. It was as if a weight had lifted from her. She was able to rest because of this message.

We arrived at the hospital at 8:00am Tuesday morning. I dropped Kristen off at the roundabout and parked our car in the garage. I met Kristen inside where we gathered up our belongings, got on the elevator and headed to the third floor. We made our way to the nurse’s station to let them know we were here. When you have a C-section scheduled it’s almost like walking into a restaurant. The lady that checked us in turned to her right and asked a nurse, “you ready?” This nurse (Liz) then walked us to our room. I felt like I was at Texas Roadhouse being taken to our table. I almost asked for some rolls with cinnamon butter. I don’t remember everything that Liz told us in the room that morning. What I do remember is a nurse that did her very best at putting us at ease. She said they were going to make us as comfortable as possible and were going to try and be as accommodating as possible. They even gave us a second room next to us for family and friends.

We had no guarantees with Truett. We didn’t know if he would live an hour, 3 hours or if he would even be born alive. All we knew is that we wanted to capture as many memories of him as possible. We were very fortunate to have Kimberly Farris of Gator Bride Videography and Matt Whytsell of MattWhytsell Photography there at the hospital that day. We contacted Kimberly about a month prior to Truett’s birth. We wanted something to look back on and also something we could share with other families that are facing a diagnosis that is “incompatiable with life.” Kimberly graciously agreed to document Truett’s story. Matt Whytsell is a longtime friend. He has been there to capture all of our family’s moments. He even hid in some bushes when I proposed to Kristen. We are so very thankful for both Kimberly and Matt being there with us. We had already been told that the hospital wouldn’t allow a photographer in the operating room during Truett’s birth. However, Liz consulted the team of doctors and they graciously allowed Matt to join us in the operating room. Matt Whytsell (wedding and family photographer and no children), you are now up to bat.

We had tons of family and friends begin to show up as early as about 8:30 that morning. So many people there loving on us and praying over us just moments before I left for the operating room. I remember some of the staff saying they had never seen so many people for a delivery.

I remember waiting to go in the operating room. Kristen had already been taken back and I was just waiting. God was so good to us this entire time. Doctor Million told us that she would guess there is a 50/50 chance that Truett would be born alive. I have to admit though as I sat there on the couch I began to freak out a little bit. I was scared for my wife. I was scared for my son. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen or how things were going to turn out. Not knowing is something I really do not like. I sat on the couch in the hospital room with my head down crying like a baby. Matt sat next to me and put his arm around me and began to pray. He’s a friend before he’s a photographer.

While I sat on the OR table, Dr. Million, Liz and myself chatted about various different things. I’m sure they were trying to take my mind of things, but I remember being so nervous. Liz held my hand and comforted me as best she knew how through every minute of it. Little did I know the friend she would become days later.

They finally called Matt and myself back to the operating room. Matt was there with his camera and Kimberly had me mic’d up so she could capture the birth as well. Truett was born and I remember Dr. Million saying that it isn’t as bad as she thought it would be. We had our little boy. The staff quickly brought Truett over to the table. His heart rate was in the 50s and his color did not look good. I was able to go over and see him, touch him and kiss him. I told him how much his mom and dad loved him. Within about an hour Truett’s heart rate came up and his color began to improve. Our family was allowed to come into the room not long after we returned and soon after them our friends were allowed to meet Truett. Somewhere around the third or fourth hour I started putting a hash mark on the dry erase board in our room. It became something that we looked forward to. We always got excited at the 55^th minute because Truett had lived another hour.

I remember hearing his cry for the first time. Something I will never forget. When Harry brought him over to me we both just cried; tears of joy, tears of peace, tears of the unknown, tears of worry, tears of anxiety. Like Harry said, he was a little blue, actually, a lot blue. I didn’t know what to think. I of course was thrilled he was in my arms, but I was so scared. Is he going to pass away any second? What does it mean for him to be this color? What am I suppose to do? I had a baby before but I felt like I wasn’t sure what to do with this one. I remember passing him back to Harry fairly quickly. Questions and worry filled my head. I smiled through it, I didn’t ask anyone my questions right then, I just prayed. Then it happened. It was like his color was changing before my eyes. Within a few minutes his color started to become “normal” and by the time we got back to the room his heart rate was in the 140s. God heard my prayers; then and many other times the rest of the week.

The next couple of days are kind of blurry for me. We had so many family and friends coming by to see us. All of our nurses were wonderful. We even had nurses and staff from other parts of the hospital come by to meet Truett. Truett also got to meet a special mommy and a very special little boy. Brittany and Jaxon Buell drove up to Gainesville to visit with us. Jaxon and Truett have similar diagnoses. You can read more about Jaxon and his family here.  Some of our family stayed with us each night in the hospital to help out with Truett and to allow us some rest. I don’t think Truett ever slept in his bassinet. He was always being held and loved by someone.

On Wednesday we met with an agency that provides hospice care. We began looking at our options in case Truett survived our stay. We really felt strongly on Wednesday and Thursday that we would make our new home at a local hospice facility. However, when Friday morning arrived we decided it would be best to take Truett home (with hospice care). We left the hospital around 7:00pm Friday night and headed home. Truett made it home. Something no one thought he would be able to do. But God!!!

To Be Continued…. J

Harry & Kristen

God is still God, and God is still good. To God be the glory.

Truett's Life

Our amazing little Truett lived a total of 85 hours and 3 minutes. We are so grateful for the time we got to share with him. We love and miss him so much! He was a special little boy that taught us so much. We will share more about our 3.5 days with him later. Thank you for your continued love and support for our family! #TeamTruett

Obituary for Baby Truett Michael Hatcher

Hatcher – Baby Truett Michael Hatcher, 3 days old, went to Heaven on April 10, 2015 while wrapped in his parent’s arms. He was born at North Florida Regional Medical Center in Gainesville, Florida on April 7, 2015 to his loving parents, Harry Milton and Kristen Ann Tew Hatcher, IV. Truett filled many hearts with happiness just to see his sweet face and smile. Truett was a true gift from God and it was a blessing to be able to spend time with him. His life impacted not just his family, but many people in the community. He will be deeply missed and always loved by all who knew him. He was preceded in death by his paternal great grandparents, James Harrell, Colonel Harry and May Hatcher, Jr., B.F. Jackson, and Josephine Raines; and his maternal great grandparents; Homer Tew, and John and Anne Samons.

Truett is survived by his loving parents, Harry and Kristen Hatcher, IV of Starke, FL; his sister, Anniston Grace Hatcher; his paternal grandparents, Gloria Harrell, Harry and JoAnn Hatcher, III all of Starke, FL; his maternal grandparents, David and Donna Tew of Starke, FL; his paternal great grandmother, Betty Harrell of Moultrie, GA; his maternal great grandmother, Jessie Tew of Starke, FL; his uncles, Michael and Holly Tew, Chris and Lori Farmer; his aunt, Steve and Holly Vernon; his cousins, Sadie Tew, Ashton Wise, John David Vernon, Kaily Vernon, Chase Farmer and Stephen Vernon; and many extended family members and friends. 

Services will be held on Tuesday, April 14, 2015 at 4:30 pm at First Baptist Church of Starke with Pastor Ken Weaver and Pastor Zeb Cook officiating. Interment will follow at Crosby Lake Cemetery. The family will receive friends on Tuesday, April 14, 2015 from 3:30 – 4:30 pm at the church. In lieu of flowers, please make donations in honor of Truett’s life to Duke University Medical Center, NTD Research Fund, 300 N. Duke Street, Box 104775, Durham, NC 27701 or online at www.giftrecords.duke.edu , click on “Make a Gift Now” then click Add an Unlisted Designation and type 3912359. Arrangements are under the care and direction of ARCHIE TANNER FUNERAL SERVICES, Starke, Fl. 904-964-5757. 

Truett's Birthday

We've made it to day seven. You guys have been so faithful, encouraging, gracious, generous, kind and supportive. We cannot thank you enough or express how grateful we are for you. Thank you for taking time to read our story, share our story and pray for our family. Truett has been such a little fighter. He hasn't given up. He's been inside Kristen's womb without a skull and brain and is pressing on. He hasn't given up and neither have we.

It has been an honor and joy to talk with so many people and receive phone calls and texts from so many friends. You guys are all rock stars! The last few days I've been telling people that I'm either completely out of touch with reality or God has genuinely given me a peace that has transcended my ability to understand. Don't get me wrong, I still wish this didn't happen. I wish I could be the one with the power to heal my son, but I'm not. I cried several times yesterday. By the way, how bout that Duke University!!! Kristen was asleep but I stayed up to watch the game and at the end I was on my knees in the living room crying like a little baby. I really believe Duke won that game for Truett. God allowed a basketball team to give hope to a heartbroken father.

We will be at the hospital around 8:00am and the c-section is scheduled to take place at 10:00am. We are looking forward to holding Truett in our arms for the very first time. Truett will be surrounded by so many people that love and care for him. It's going to be an exciting day tomorrow!

(I shifted gears a little between these two paragraphs, tears began to flow and I just kept writing)

I want to bring my son home. I want Anniston to be able to feed him a bottle. I want our son to live. I want Truett to give hope to people all across the world. I want him to beat the odds. I want to take him to a Duke basketball game. I want him to have birthday parties. I want him to take his first steps. I want to change his diapers. I want to get up in the middle of the night to feed him. I want to teach him about the history of the New York Yankees. I want him to be able to kiss his mother. I want a lot of things. I'm reminded of Jesus asking his Father if there was another way besides the cross. The cross was the plan. I'm not sure what the plan is for Truett. God will let us know that tomorrow.

Day 7: Today we pray for a miracle. I don't know if Truett will be born with a brain and skull. God can do it. I don't know if Truett will survive without a brain and skull. God knows. I don't know how long or how short Truett will live, but God knows. He has today's agenda in His planner. Our prayer today is for Truett to have a long and full life. Pray that he will not experience pain and suffering but that his entire life  he will only experience the love of his parents, family, friends and all of you that support Team Truett. We're also going to end this like we started it, by being thankful. I am thankful that God has led us every step of the way. I'm thankful that he has given Kristen and I a beautiful little boy that has taught us so much. I'm thankful that no matter what I've done or how unfaithful I've been, God is always good! He has been so good to us! Today we pray for a miracle. Today we are thankful!

"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27)

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20).

We love all of you! See you guys soon!

One in a Million

I remember when Kristen was pregnant with Anniston. She started having contractions on a Thursday night around 8:00pm. We decided to go to the hospital around 5:00am on Friday. After a very long day it was finally time to meet Anniston. Right around midnight Kristen began pushing for Anniston to come out. This went on for two hours. Anniston's heart rate would drop really low and then it would spike. I'll never forget Dr. Million's words, "I'm anxious that something isn't right. I'd like to do a c-section." About 45 minutes later I was holding Anniston for the very first time.

I've often wondered if doctors get nervous or have fears. We expect them to know everything and have a plan to make all things better. We want them to be able to fix us and fix us right now. What happens when they encounter something they've never seen before? We look to them for the answers. We look to them to figure it out. 

Early on when we were deciding whether or not to continue the pregnancy or terminate we had concerns for the doctors and staff. Maybe, we just were concerned what they would think about us. If we decided to carry to term, how would this affect them? Will this be traumatic for them? Dr. Million told us that in almost 18 years of delivering babies she has never seen a baby with acrania/anencephaly. I'd probably freak out a bit if this happened to me. Tuesday is the big day. Truett will be born then. 

I wonder how the staff will sleep tonight? Is Dr. Million nervous? Is she afraid? I don't know the answers to any of these questions. I do know that God specifically chose Truett, Kristen, Dr. Million and myself to be on this journey together. 

Today, day 6, pray for Dr. Amy Million and Dr. Ann Hatfield. They will be performing the c-section. Pray for the nurses and other staff as well. Our prayer is that everyone in that operating room will experience the love of Jesus Christ and that He will provide care, comfort and compassion to the staff. Thank you for praying and standing with us!

Family First and Nicole

About a year or so ago I started a little saying with Kristen. It's really simple. One of us will say to the other, "family first" and then we fist pump each other. It's our way of reminding each other that we play on the same team and we do our best to look out for one another, to protect the family. If you know me at all, you know that I am a huge New York Yankees fan. My favorite player was Derek Jeter (number 2, Derek Je-tah, number 2; in my Bob Sheppard voice). I'll never forget watching games when Jeter had a clutch hit or made a great defensive play. Without fail, the camera would always find Charles and Dorothy Jeter. It seemed like they were always there cheering for their son. They were present. They were visible. They were supporting their son.

This past Valentine's Day Kristen got me a book, "Jeter Unfiltered." I started reading the book that night and came to a chapter entitled 'Family First.' This is what Derek Jeter said,

"It's simple: I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my family. You have to have a good support group, regardless of your profession. If you have any level of success or any level of failure, you have to have a network of people to lean on and count on." 

What does family first mean? Read what Jeter said again. It means you've got each other's back. It means you stand when they can't. It means you love without condition. It means, family first.

Just yesterday Kristen was in a nail salon getting a pedicure. The nail tech asked her when the baby was due. Kristen told her Tuesday. There happened to be a lady sitting in the chair next to Kristen, she asked what the baby's name was. Kristen, of course, told her Truett. The lady reached her hand out to Kristen's hand and said, "we have been praying for your baby." She didn't even know Kristen's name (she asked for it later so they could pray for her by name as well). Please hear my heart and do not misunderstand me, we desperately need your prayers. But, Truett's life and story has not only impacted us, he has also impacted our family. Our parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are also affected.

Our family has been nothing short of amazing during this journey. We are still children to parents and our parents still have children. Anniston is not yet two years old so I have not seen her faced with difficult situations. I'm not sure how I'd respond only that if my child hurts, I hurt. I don't want us to forget about our family.

Today, day 5, I'm asking you to pray for our parents (David & Donna; Gloria; Harry & JoAnn) and the rest of our family. They have all helped us tremendously! We would not have made it this far without them.

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).

PLEASE CONTINUE READING BELOW...

Yesterday evening our community received some devastating news. Our friends Jordan and Nicole Callais were in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their little boy, Gadsden Nehemiah. Soon after his birth, Nicole experienced some very serious problems. Apparently, Nicole experienced an 'amniotic fluid embolism.' I don't want to speculate at other details as I do not know them with certainty. Please take time to pray for Nicole's healing and comfort her husband, Jordan; daughter, Chloe; and son, Gadsden Nehemiah. Everyone with Team Truett is praying for a miraculous and speedy recovery for you Nicole! Family First!!

Day Four - Mom & Dad

I can’t express enough how grateful I am for everyone praying for us. So many people have contacted us to let tell us that they have been praying for us. Many of you are sharing the blog or social media posts with your friends. We don’t want you to think we overlook that. Honestly, so many people are sharing and posting comments that we can’t keep up with them all (which is a good thing). Please know that we appreciate EVERY prayer and message sent. We’re right in the middle of the 7 days of prayer. Here’s a recap of where we’ve been: 

·      Day 1: Was a day of thanksgiving and praise

·      Day 2: We prayed for Duke University as they attempt to better understand anencephaly and other neural tube defects

·      Day 3: We remember and prayed for the countless families that have lost loved ones due to acrania, anencephaly or a similar diagnosis.

This past Tuesday night we had the opportunity to FaceTime with my cousin in Lynchburg, Virginia. He told us that their small group, from Brentwood Church, has been praying for us ever since they found out about Truett. It was a beautiful thing to see faces we’ve never seen before and listen to them pour out their heart in prayer on our behalf. Brett, a guy we’ve never met, prayed first. I’ll never forget one thing he said. He prayed, “God as much as Harry and Kristen love Truett, you love him more.” I immediately began crying when I heard that. It was a gentle and beautiful reminder for me that God is so much bigger than me. He really does love Truett more than I do. I love Truett and my heart breaks for him. God loves Truett more than me so His heart must break more than mine. It’s a reminder to me that I’m not in charge. I don’t have to carry the burden of heartache for Truett. That’s a huge relief for me. I find comfort knowing that God really does love Truett more than I do.

Today, day four, I’d like to ask that you pray for Kristen and myself. We are normal parents and normal people. We wake up to life just like you do everyday. God has already been faithful and true. We know He will continue that way. I can honestly tell you that I am so excited about seeing Truett. I can also tell you, in the very next breath, that I am nervous and anxious about Tuesday. Pray for Kristen and I to be of one heart and one spirit. God has been so good and faithful (even when we are not) to us. Pray that God will renew our strength over the next several days. Physically, we are both exhausted. Emotionally, we’re all over the place. We will definitely be relying on power of Jesus to get us through the next week. Thank you again for all you have done!

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God” (Isaiah 43:2-3, ESV).

Incompatible With Life

Here we are at day three. Kristen and I have been blown away by the support we continue to receive. We cannot begin to express our sincere gratitude. With everything that is within us, we say thank you!

Have you ever experienced a day, week, month, or even a season where things didn’t turn out the way you had planned? Of course you have, so have we. It wasn’t in the plans (at least not ours) for Truett’s skull not to develop. We didn’t plan on having a baby born without the majority of his brain. Maybe you didn’t plan on getting cancer. Maybe it wasn’t in the plans for your spouse to pass away unexpectedly. Maybe you always dreamed of growing old with your husband and now you’re a single mom. I’m not sure what your story is or how life has treated you. There are things I don’t understand nor will I ever understand. But, this is what I know, “I say this because I know what I am planning for you, says the Lord. I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NCV). I may not know the plan(s) but the God that intricately formed Truett absolutely knows the plan(s).  He knows the plans for my life and he knows the plans for your life.

On September 25, 2014, Kristen and I became a part of a family we never knew existed. We joined other parents that our hurting, parents that were given a fatal diagnosis for their child. We’ve joined a couple of support groups on Facebook. To read some of the stories is absolutely heart wrenching. I remember reading the story of a mom that had 3 pregnancies with 3 babies suffering from anencephaly. I could not imagine going through that process 3 different times. Just tonight I read the story of a mom who gave birth to twin girls 11 years ago. Marley was born first and her sister, Grace, was only one minute behind. Two hours later Grace had breathed her last breath. The mom writes, “This year will be 11 years and their birthday is the best and worst day of my life... I have found a way to grieve and celebrate, early in the morning I leave on horseback I ride to a special spot and I grieve. Then I come home and celebrate no tears for Marley she deserves to have a happy day!” What a roller coaster of emotion for this mom to experience on their birthday.

Today, I want you to pray for all of these hurting moms and dads across the world that have received a diagnosis of acrania, anencephaly or any other diagnosis that is “incompatible with life.” Pray that these families will find hope and comfort during their darkest days. These families need all the love and support they can receive. Thank you for interceding on their behalf.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).